What is it that has us give our inner authority away to others? Instead of focusing on what is best for us, why do we seek out the answers/validation/approval from others assuming they know better than we do? We may have given our authority away to our parents, our teachers, our bosses, our spouses, our friends, and even our children. How did we lose trust in ourselves?
As children, we were dependent on others to help us navigate and succeed in the physical world. As young children, we were told by our caregivers when to sleep, eat, what to wear, say, and how to behave. Unless we were guided back into ourselves and supported in making our own choices as we grew and developed, we never learned to become our own inner authority.
To make matters worse, many of us learned that when we do act on our inner authority, we are rejected, abandoned, neglected, manipulated, criticized, or shamed by others. Not only does this add an additional layer to our dysfunctional relationship with ‘authority,’ but it also fuels our fear of disconnection from others if we take our authority back.
Shifting the power back to our inner authority, requires us to recognize when we give it away, turn within to acknowledge what we want instead, and then act on what is best for us by giving ourselves what we are afraid of losing from others.
For example, when my husband was in the hospital, I desperately needed a couple of days to recharge my own battery. While I wanted to do what was most loving for me, I was afraid I would be shamed by the nurses, some of my friends, and my husband for not visiting or being ‘available’ to him for 2 days. I was afraid he would be upset and abandon me emotionally when I went to visit again. This time, I stopped to acknowledge that I needed a break to refill my own cup. Instead of abandoning myself, I let my husband know what I was doing and how it was so healing for me. I let my inner child know that her needs are my highest priority, and in doing what was best for me, I took back my inner authority.
When I take the time to check-in and recognize what is happening inside of me, I am able to tune in to the fact that I know best what I need moment-to-moment. When I act on what is most loving for me, I find my way back to myself and my own inner authority.
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