What do you believe relationships are for? Are they just to procreate? To drive us crazy? To provide a source of love and happiness?

What if relationships are here to help us grow into who we really are? When we believe that each relationship has value, we can relax, see how it's helping us grow, and lighten up in how we approach it. We burden our relationships with expectations about what a good parent, lover, friend, child, spouse, teacher or sibling should look like. We work hard to live up to that standard or ask others to do the same, instead of honoring and respecting what feels good to us and the other person(s).

When we see the true value of the relationships in our lives, they can greatly accelerate our awakening to who we really are and where our real power and control are. It can also change who we choose to be within relationship, and provide greater ease being with ourselves and all other people.

Most of us learned to get our needs met from others, rather than ourselves--often by trying to change the other person. As children, our parents, teachers, siblings and priests would yell, threaten, manipulate, punish or cajole us into behaving--asking us to change our natural expression to make them feel better. When they felt better, we would get their attention, love, approval or acceptance. This taught us that we have to change to get our needs met by others. It also taught us that if we can change others to how we want them to be, we will feel better. Quite a quandary of belief!

The quantum field will respond to the feelings and expectations we project moment-to-moment. Given the expectations we have in our relationships, our feelings end up being ones of need, frustration, dissatisfaction, desperation or hurt when the other person won't change so we can feel better. As a result, more experiences will be drawn to you that match those negative feelings, even if the circumstances are different.

The only way out is to shift our focus back to ourselves. Learning how to honor what feels good to us moment-to-moment gives us a way back to our power in every relationship. When we look to others to make us feel good, we give our power away. When we look to make ourselves feel good, by honoring our in-the-moment feelings and preferences, we take our power back. We begin to feel relaxed, enthusiastic, energized, eager and grateful. We are the ones who know what feels best to us. We are the choosers in our lives. When we choose what feels good to us, the quantum field will respond with more good feeling experiences. Taking our attention off changing others releases them from our expectations. This allows them to feel OK just the way they are without needing to change for you. A blessing in every way!

Are you willing to feel good in your relationships today?

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